And the close of another day. Now I'm a meat head. Before I was Capitan P.J.s because I wore my Dobok Pants everywhere. Now people are agahst at my wearing of blue Jeans which for the first time in probably three years I found a pair that I like. I can't win. I'm not necessarily losing, but I'm not quite winning either. Just sort of floating across a sea of inevitibility. People like to believe in free will, that things are not preordained. I hope that is true. I hope I'm making choices based on what I think is best, and not just playing the part to a play. Because otherwise, I suppose, if preordainment is true, Buddhism is wholely incorrect. So here I am, on my little life raft in the middle of the sea of uncontrolability pretending that I control my little particular section, but really at any moment my whole life could be turned upside down. That's the point of Buddhism that I'm meditating on these days, letting go of the need to control anything. I can't, things are as they are and things will happen no matter how much work I put into it.
Speaking of putting work into things I don't really understand my progression in Tukong these days. It seems that if I put loads of work into my training I get about the same as if I just coast along. Of course most people don't consider four to five classes a day coasting along, but if you can train another three to four hours on your own and you don't, then you're coasting. I dunno, I've memorized my new form.. now I must put to learning it. I suppose this part of Martial Arts is the lesson that no matter how much you learn there are still vast continents of knowldege that you will probably not find. Humm. I like this idea of a sea of inevitibility. That's the world, thats tukong.. no matter how much work or what you do, it will continue along. You can make little splashes, but never change the direction of the waves.

Logical progression:
Sleep to Enlightenment in five steps or less.
Awaken the Sleeping Giant within indeed.

-=AQB=-