An interesting mix of focus/direction and brick walls. I can see where I want to go, I want to go there, but a brick wall holds me back. A few good back side kicks should break it, but to what avail? I built it, even if I break it what would it do? In the time I take to break one down another will appear, I know because it's happened. So what is the way? What would a Master do? I feel the answer is to sit down, close my eyes and see clearly. Looking, I cannot see the walls but only the goal. Perhaps closing my eyes I would see the walls. Perhaps they have holes in them, perhaps large enough to walk through. Perhaps I only have to see the walls to pass through them. Perhaps. I know meditation to be what I am lacking, what I need. There is no wall holding me up. Yet, for all people groan about having to keep moving all the time, sitting quietly for ten minutes to half an hour seems somehow like more work than training for ten hours. I think this just tells me how much work is to be done. I do my pushups daily, forms, weapons training, etc.. But sitting and being in meditation still seems like too much time and work. Damn the monkey mind. Sitting quietly I scream. Screaming and moving my mind quiets.. at least it seems to. Perhaps. Perhaps not.